Teaching Kids Tantrum Strategies: Before, During, and After
Tantrums are a normal part of childhood, but they can feel like a storm for both kids and parents. At Hill Country Day School, we believe the key to navigating these moments lies in teaching children strategies to manage their emotions—before a tantrum brews, during the chaos, and after the dust settles. Here’s why this approach matters and how we make it work.
The Brain on Ten: Why Reasoning Fails During a Tantrum
When a child is in the thick of a tantrum, their brain is at a ten—overwhelmed, flooded with emotion, and incapable of clear thinking. Science backs this up: the amygdala, the brain’s emotional center, takes over, sidelining the prefrontal cortex responsible for reasoning and problem-solving. Trying to talk a child out of a tantrum in this state is like asking them to solve a math problem mid-sprint—it’s not happening. Our main goal during a tantrum isn’t to lecture or fix; it’s to help them calm their body back down. A calm body paves the way for a calm mind.
Teaching Calming Techniques—Before the Storm
The best time to teach kids how to handle a tantrum? When they’re not having one. At Hill Country Day School, we introduce calming techniques in fun, playful ways outside of high-stress moments. One favorite is “blowing out the candles”: kids hold up their fingers like candles and take slow, deep breaths to “blow” them out. This simple trick gets oxygen flowing to their brain, helping them regain clarity and control. Another go-to is squeezing their hands together when frustration bubbles up—a physical release that’s easy and effective. By practicing these skills during calm times, children build a toolbox they can reach for when emotions run high.
Why Oxygen Matters
Ever notice how a few deep breaths can change your own mood? The same applies to kids. When they’re spiraling in a tantrum, their breathing gets shallow, starving their brain of oxygen and fueling the chaos. Techniques like blowing out the candles or even pretending to inflate a big balloon shift that dynamic. More oxygen means a calmer nervous system, which means they can start thinking clearly again. It’s not magic—it’s biology, and it’s a game-changer for turning tantrums around.
After the Calm: Identifying the Why
Once a child’s body settles, the real work begins. This is the moment to connect, not correct. At Hill Country Day School, we guide kids to reflect on why they felt mad or frustrated. Maybe they couldn’t share a toy, or maybe they’re just tired. Naming those feelings builds emotional awareness and communication skills. It’s not about blame—it’s about understanding, and it sets the stage for better coping next time.
Haleigh’s Expertise at the Helm
Our founder, Haleigh Almquist, brings a personal passion to this mission. As a mom to a son with autism who faced his own struggles with tantrums, she’s honed a wealth of calming techniques that work. Her experience isn’t just theoretical—it’s lived. At Hill Country Day School, Haleigh is channeling that knowledge into training our teachers, equipping them to support every child with patience and practical strategies.
Teaching kids tantrum strategies isn’t about preventing every meltdown—that’s unrealistic. It’s about giving them tools to ride the wave and come out stronger. At Hill Country Day School, we’re here to make that happen, one deep breath at a time.